Arsenal Transfers-WHAT HAPPENS BEHIND THE CLOSED DOORS

Arsenal Transfers-WHAT HAPPENS BEHIND THE CLOSED DOORS

Standing in his office, Sir Alex patiently awaits an important phone call. A polite knock on the door and a man’s voice breaks the stillness in the room.

“Alex, you have a call on the private line…”

“Oh, good.” he replied while already in stride towards his desk. “What have you got for me?” he said into the phone as it reached his face.

“Well, he’s up to his usual trickery.” the voice on the phone grumbled. “Had to call in extra tails because of all the switching of vehicles, but we were able to track them all.”

“Fine, you’ll all receive your bonuses.” Sir Alex said hurriedly. “Now who are the targets?”

The sound of ruffling papers crackled through the phone. “Let’s see, Wenger’s scouts seem to be most interested in a youngster at Schalke by the name of Draxler, another at Montpellier named Belhanda, and more importantly, Mathias Suarez a striker at Anderlecht.”

“Fantastic,” said Sir Alex, joyfully interupting as he jotted the information down on a notepad. ” any other teams he’s in contact with on the phone records?” he inquired.

The background sounds coming through the receiver transitioned into the familiar tapping sounds of a keyboard. “Yeah, Wenger has spent quite a bit of time on the line with the teams Fiorentina, Spartak Moskow, CSKA Moskow, Borussia Dortmund, Borussia Mönchengladbach and of course Lille.” The man jabbed at the keyboard a couple more times. “Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to completely trace some of the calls Wenger made to Brazil, Africa and The Middle East…but my sources in Brazil believe they saw one of Wenger’s undercover scouts at the Internacional v Gremio game.”

“Well, Once again you prove to be an indispensable asset, thanks for the work, and your money will be wired shortly.” Sir Alex said before ending the call. Leaning forward in his chair, he pressed the intercom button that connected him with his assistant.

“Yes Sir Alex?” a female voice chirped through the speaker.

“Be a good girl and patch me a conference call with Redknapp, Dalglish, whoever the bloody manager is at Chelsea, and the scarf-wearing Italian on line one would you?” He said in a patronizing tone.

After the conference call, all managers were in accord. All parties agreed to continue feeding the desperate media with as many bait Arsenal Transfer rumours as possible, taking turns outbidding any of Arsene Wengers targets, and paying other teams to make bids on current quality Arsenal players. Dalglish had voiced his worry about Wenger acquiring the Anderlecht striker Suarez; but Sir Alex assured the others that even if Wenger somehow miraculously managed to sign Mathias Suarez, despite all their obstacles, that he would just arrange another “Eduardo” incident.

As the day was getting late, Sir Alex perused his weekly planner to see if he missed anything.

“Oh yeah,” he murmured to himself. He had forgotten to wire the money that Juventus wanted for their participation in unnerving Theo Walcott. As well as the funds that needed to go out to all of the bloggers that are posing as Arsenal supporters (adam kemp & company), who play a critical role in turning Arsenal Fans against each other, convincing readers to be pessimists, spreading negativity and destabilizing the support for the team.

The End,

Always Arsenal